I wrote this last night (Saturday 1 February 2014 resuming the blog, as promised, at the beginning of February). However, I had no access to the internet last night and could only post now. Forgive me?
So much has happened and changed since the end of last year. I could write pages about it all, but for your sake and mine I’ll keep it short.
After some heart-to-hearts with people close to me a clear message came up that confirmed thoughts I’ve been having.
Starting Between the Lines with my study of Brene Brown’s book ‘I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)’ was great and it really got me focussed and thinking clearly about the issues that lie in between the lines of my seemingly put-together life.
I feel strongly now though that I need to change focus from ‘dealing with my stuff’ to ‘being the me I know I truly am’. It’s quite a big shift because instead of blogging mainly about what’s going on in my head and heart and relating that to books/resources on the subject, I’m going to be actively trying to live the full and free life I know I should be living and through the process grasp hold of freedom, overcome fears, strengthen weaknesses and kick some ISSUE ass!
How? Basically by living my dreams. I’ve always wanted to write novels and have known that ‘one day’ I will. Well, ‘one day’ is now and I’ve recently started an amazing creative writing course, which has already made me feel more ‘me’ than any other attempt at freedom.
Alongside that I’m doing a free-flow art course where participants are encouraged to let go of inhibitions and the things that hold them back and express themselves through the flow of art. My wonderful friend Karin participated last year and found that it did exactly that, so I’m joining her this semester. We start on Monday and depending on how I go I may well post pics of the art I do J
On a slightly different note, we got 3 kittens. I’ve always wanted to have cats again and with the kiddies going to ‘big school’ my husband agreed to get them each a kitten. Well, when I collected them I added an extra one to the basket because after all I WANT ONE TOO. And they are such a delight. Their carefree play and just plain cuddle-ability is awesome to be around.
With my kiddies at big school now I have a bit more time every morning which I’m trying to be very good at setting aside for my writing. But beyond that, my most incredible husband has committed to sending me away one weekend out of every month just to write and rejuvenate. I had my first weekend last week and went to Garikou Lodge close to Swellendam. I wrote, rested and came alive … it was amazing…
So, how has this new focus worked so far? Brilliantly. I’m finding that actively stepping away from the things that usually hold me down and trip me up has diminished their power.
Are they gone? Most certainly not, but I honestly believe that living out my ‘true self’ instead of dwelling on my ‘broken self’ is going to get me to inner wholeness faster than any other method. I’ll be applying the things I’ve learnt from Brene Brown too – a powerful combination!
What will I be blogging on? Me. This is still a blog about dealing with the dark truths that kowbosh our inner freedom, the vehicle has just shifted from books/resources on the subject to my daily life. Given the shift I imagine that what I write about is going to be much more colourful, more directly applicable to you and very very real.
This is going to be more ‘real life’ writing, and amongst the laughs, tears, successes and failures I KNOW there are going to be incredible breakthroughs on my body-image and other issues. Which is the point, because this blog is certainly not going to become narcissistic drivel!
I’ll leave it here for now and end off with some pics of what I’ve been up to since we last spoke.
So nice to be back … looking forward to continuing the journey with
(We spent a month on the Wild Coast over Christmas time – it was one of the best holidays I’ve had there.)
(This year there were other holiday homes filled with old friends long last seen, which added a whole other dimension of fun to the festive season)
(Here Pete and Jeanne are holding little Eliana on our lawn – another member of the family joins the legacy that it Kei Mouth!)
(We welcomed 2014 with lanterns – and got to bed at sunrise. It’s already been a life-changing year!)
(2014′s cuddliest additions are Shadow, Mittens and Bella – a constant delight)